“Marriage Is Fast Becoming Old Fashioned And Outdated” – Charly Boy


If you’re a single lady…this message is
for you from Mr Charles Oputa
All the single ladies reading this,
chin-up and give your good self
a thumb up. Nothing doest thou.
Last week I had a father/
daughter discussion with my
Princess. I could feel the
frustration in her tone as we
spoke about different issues.
When I asked about her
boyfriend she gave me a very
long and irritated “Naija babe”
hiss, she aired out her
frustrations with this whole
dating business. “Daddy we are
no longer dating.” “I’m so very
sorry my love, but what
happened I queried,” very
anxious to hear the gist, cause
me and my Princess are just that
close. This is my daughter’s 3rd
boyfriend since she started
dating, and she has only been
with him for barely 6months…
“Daddy, please I’m tired, he is
not ambitious, he has no drive,
and he is too laid back for his
own good, how can I marry a
man like that? To make matters
worse, he thinks I am overly
ambitious, he says I do way too
much – please tell me how that’s
a bad thing.” Hummmmm, my
daughter, my princess my pride
and joy is unhappy.
You see since childhood, my Princess
has been very independent, very
focused and determined – no nonsense
kind of ‘chic’, (can an apple fall too far
from its tree). She is intelligent and
extremely hardworking, I mean what
more could a man ask for in a woman?
Quickly, I was thinking of how to calm
my ticked off Princess down. “Darling,
you know daddy will always love you
no matter what, most importantly you
know damn too well that you are not
under any pressure to get married. So
be patient, concentrate on your carrier
and yourself my darling, he will come
when he comes, and if he doesn’t
come, have your baby, I wouldn’t mind
another grandchild.” Did I really say
that? Oh! Yes I did, and I meant that.
Single ladies are on the rise these days,
because for a long time coming, there
has been an explosion of male
joblessness in Nigeria and the world
over. There has also been a decline in
men’s life prospects that have
disrupted and distorted the dating or
the “marriage market”, in a way that
narrows a marriage minded woman’s
options. Today all the Nigerian single
“good” ladies who are desirous to settle
down are at a cross road in their
dating life, most of them are simply
tired, a lot are frustrated and many are
giving up. Their options are really
limited; it is mostly between the
millions of Gigolos or the deadbeat,
some of who are pretending that they
are waiting for Jesus before they get it
together; those who don’t have
ambition burning in their soul. I can’t
believe that I told my daughter to go
ahead and have a baby out of wedlock.
Well, with the way things are playing
out in our environment, it is time we
embraced new ideas about dating and
marriage. Society’s highest institution
called “Marriage” is fast becoming old
fashioned and outdated. Look around
and see the alarming rate of divorce
matters all over the place, something is
definitely wrong my people. At this
rate, falling in love and getting married
will be a question of choice rather than
societal expectation or luck. Frankly
speaking, women have climbed so high
in their independence and career and
are doing way better than the men.
Men have been falling behind with
amazing alacrity. Good single women
are so disappointed and it’s
unimaginable, it’s like going to a party
that has been the talk of the town for
long. You buy your new dress hoping
to show off at the party, but by the
time you land, they tell you that all the
good people have left, and the ones left
are really the servants, their friends or
relatives who have come to scavenge
on the left over food. Believe it or not,
that’s the situation today, no kidding.
Since the days of my grandfather,
marriage has been primarily an
economic and political contract
between 2 families, prized and policed
by families, relatives and community.
That’s why in my village, they will tell
you “no be only your wife/husband
you they marryoooooo” Things have
changed since then, most of our dates
are from facebook, bb chat, online
dating, the hocus-pocus church called
Pentecostals, etc. There is no doubt in
my mind that we are in the midst of an
extraordinary change. The
transformation of young outstanding
women, considered marriage material,
is momentous, immensely liberating
and immensely scary for prospective
suitors. All the old ways are breaking
down, these days ladies want to be in-
charge of their lives, you can’t blame
them. Forget about the days of being
submissive, na for your pocket. Forget
about marriage vows where it says
about obeying your husbands,
hummmm joor, they are not slaves,
understanding works better. Do they
need husbands to have babies these
days? Please don’t get this twisted,
marriage is divine and sweet when
you can not only find a soul mate, but
someone who can inspire you, respect
you, love you, adore your feminity
and independence. They are hard to
find oooooo. My daughter knows that
finding a good man is like finding a
needle in a haystack. None the less,
should women feel psychologically
defeated? Hell No! Most men who
don’t know what time it is are still
locked down with that old macho
bullshit, that it is a Man’s world.
Hummmmm for where, my people,
women run things now, let’s get used
to it, abegi, so our days on earth will
be longer joor.
My princess, my baby, my joy, my
little big girl knows that her character,
her pedigree, her background, her
ambition, her zeal and courage will
most likely intimidate a lot of men out
there, she realizes that this will further
narrow her pool of prospects, just like
she is also aware that with each
passing year she is getting older and
never younger but the options stay
very limited. All I’m trying to say is
this, I tip my hat for all the “good”
single ladies out there, keep the fate, I
admire your courage in not wanting to
settle for any trash out there. If it
doesn’t fit, trash it, finding a life time
partner is not ‘moimoi’. The world is
already too troubled for you to be in a
relationship that you know will not
make you happy. Women can see
these things ahead you know, that’s
why they are a special breed of God’s
creation. I have discovered lately that
men need women in their lives to keep
them stable, but if push comes to a
shove, women don’t really need men, a
case in point, ‘The great Oprah’. Yes,
good men are hard to find, ask Lady D.

Posted By K2I


About iamk2i

IamK2I. A Radio OAP. Media Is My Life!!!

Posted on August 17, 2013, in News, Update. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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